autism, communication

Don’t tell me feeling

don’t tell me what I feel. I had someone tell me I am happy. I not be happy very long time. I not like be tell what I not. You not know what in my head. I not face expression like person think.

other day I get hurt bad. When people hurt be cry or something show face people know is hurting. I was hurt be laugh and laugh. I not do same people not know I bad can’t show face expression.

sometimes be ask how you feeling. I hate hate this question. I don’t know what feeling most time. When feeling something is big strong feel. I not know happy sad what is? I don’t understand. It hard I not even know what thirsty hungry feel like.

I know what things make body doing this different what people say feeling is. I feel flappy win archery. I feel rocking when not like someone.

I not like be ask feeling. I hate be tell what I feel. I is me only I know me and what feel.

communication, Disability

Not say smart

sometimes people see my communication device and how well I use it and get excited about it. I don’t like that.

it great be positive about my way communicating but it make me uncomfortable when so big reaction.

I get nervous and then talk little. And sometimes they look at what I’m writing on my screen. Don’t do that. I will stop talking. If you not my safe person I won’t use device if been watched.

my communication device is my voice. It is a part of me. Just like you don’t touch wheelchair you don’t touch device. There private things on my device. It’s made and edited just for me and how I like and understand best. No one have communication device same as my words. Be make how they like their one best. That how talk faster.

when people look my screen make me freeze. I can’t communicate anymore and then feeling trapped and make big meltdown.

also I don’t like be say so smart because using device and sometimes I fast. I don’t say you so smart because you can use mouth words. Don’t tell me anything of smart or dumb. It not good say. You don’t know how hard work take learn or how long. This fast for me because try many many then find right one me use. If this your only voice you learn and make fast too.

people value not in how intellect have. It not good this anyway. Not matter everyone valuable just be person alive. When say you smart take away how long and hard many working just be same. I’m not smart I work hard learning and many many meltdown frustrate when can’t understand what mean. A lot help need for stay alive. I not able anything no care help.

better tell about what did and how much work do not say so smart. Don’t do that make chest hurt.

good night



hello. I be ask what AAC I using. I wanted write this on it own so more can know about how I talk. I use many AAC. I most use this Accent 1400 with Unity 144. It have different picture symbols because I need different. I use sometimes with keyguard and sometimes mouth stick and sometimes switches. My disability need change all time. Early maybe I not can move hand. Late maybe tired not move anything.

sometimes I use this LAMP words for life. Sometimes I use sign language get write down for me. Sometimes I show things. Communicate is a lot different ways. I like Unity 144 most because work good for me but other person maybe like different communication device and different symbol. My communication device dedicated device with funding. But use some on iPad too.

it take time to learn where word is and what many picture word mean. Some is easy and some take long time with many many repeat and explain different way until understand.

it help when care use AAC too then learn where word is but also make AAC look ok like people use voice. It my language. Everyone need different like everyone have different voice. Hope be understand. Communicate important should be give everyone how they can.

See you later.

*You can learn more about Jays preferred AAC at this website:

A red computer looking device with a grid of pictures on it and a keyguard over the picture grid.
Jays Communication Device
autism, Disability


hello. I be try write more post while learn communication device words to talk.

I have people say me online I can’t be autistic because can use computer. I can’t be intellectual disability because write talk online use computer.

I have word for you who say this thing. Your word of the day is accessibility.

I have accessibility to use computer internet talk and more.

I can use communication device to be online and writing. I can accessibility with iPad cell phone have thing speak for me. I have help people explain way I understand so know what people meaning. This how know you been rude. Rude not the word I want say but if I say word I want say you be start saying not want listen because autistic all yelling when ask help for my child and I not want hear that again.

do you know how many people ever listen me? Not many. It take many yelling be hear then you say oh I not listen until you say thing calm. This mean nobody ever listen.

I autistic. I intellectual disability. You don’t have right to my medical document. I use thing with help from technology from people explain from accessibility. From accept all way I communicate and help to say thing my way.

stop tell me what I am. You not know my life from little thing internet.

I autistic not with autism. I is diagnose and I support self diagnose. Diagnose not easy stop be a stink Fart.

See you later.



six. Six is a number I know. It’s the number you tell people I am in my head.
mentally six year old. What does that mean? How do you know what anyone is in their head?
it’s a number. You use it to say I can’t do this I can’t understand that I’ll never want sex. You think I be six forever.
I like what you think only for child. Why? Why everything only this old?
I can’t understand math or read and write but I never forget six.
I’m not six. I not been six for long time. I 41. I be 41 in my head. I live 41. even when I can’t read and write even when I can’t understand number even when I play toy you say childish I’m 41. you not know my head. You not know what I think.
you say mentally six then take my right to choose. I choose where live I choose who to love I choose what my life and you say no they can’t. You say they can’t understand this. Not communicate can’t do. You wrong.
even six year old can tell you choice. Even nonverbal can show you.
stop say mental age. It wrong. Person age is the age no head age. Six is six forty is forty eighty is eighty twenty is twenty. Lived twenty year is twenty year in everyway.
I my age not six. I have want and desire and can adult relationship.
treat like am age. Give way communicate. Listen with you eyes. Accommodate different need.
I not six. I 41 and need you explain different way. Understand different. Never child.
learn different learn slow and that ok. Don’t take my choice because you can’t understand how help me know.
six. Six is not my number.