autism, communication, Disability


This not a happy write.
this is Butter. Butter my assistance dog in training.
Butter is why I alive right now.

I get forgotten.
people say what happen when I not here for my child. People say but you not like my child. People say what about the one wear diaper helmet not can take care themselves.
I this person.
I not meant be alone ever. I hit head bang on wall bite self hurt bad. I need helmet I use diaper I not talk voice words. I can’t ask food drink not be able tell hungry thirsty pain sick. I not able take care self.
what happen when nobody caring me?
I forgotten.
I left alone I hurt self I starve I dehydrate. If take hospital I left bed alone nobody give drink nobody feed. Meltdown in hospital be isolate. Nobody talk me.
I not can communicate away people know good. Not can say help not can say hurt not can say pain. Scream be leave alone.
send home no help. Send home not know anyone to care. Forgotten.
you want help like me? Listen. Understand all communicate not just word. include. Make community support all. Help understand help accommodate intellectual disability.
stop leaving. Stop ignore what happen. Stop forget

I be left die. I be left no health care until die. Too late.
no carer mean no get up mean sore mean pain mean starve.
help before bad.
before message world say you not important. Before understand not matter all want dead.

Butter help be alive.

(Image of a golden dog looking around a door with a plush duck in his mouth)

a golden dog looking around a door with a plush duck in his mouth
Butter with Duck

hello. I be quiet have bad time.
today 02/26/20 three years before I die.
life hard and amaze.
I not forget question. Answer when feel better.
thank you be read.

Written with Unity 144

*Note: Jay died in hospital three years ago, today is the anniversary of that day. Communication is easily misunderstood when using AAC.

autism, communication, Disability

I worth

I not support puzzle piece not for me
I not break even with disability
I not here teach lesson
I not make like this because bad
my struggle not yours

I person whole complete
my life have meaning
I deserve existence
I right be safe eat drink live communicate choice be include
I have right even not speak not read not write not work

you not see worthy
you not see give society
I worth you see or not
I not smart your way I smart my way

you see complicate I see simple
I see beautiful little thing
soft cat fur
smile dog face
light dance raindrop
colour sky sunset

you fast I slow
stop look
see feel listen
world beautiful make art all alone

I not break not piece
I not project
I not inspire
I not bad disability not bad

I not want you cure
I not want you pity
I me I me
I me scream I me rock I me pain meltdown stim routine
I me need help or not

my society community
help everyone
why separate

I not child
don’t tell good not scream
don’t tell good smile
I allow be mad
I allow say thing wrong

I exist
I deserve equal
I deserve access world



I bother some post people have recent.
when say smart in room because autistic exclude me.
autism not mean smart.
when say not talk not friend person not intelligent leave me alone.
when say everyone disable isolate not understand different intellectual disability.
I alone everywhere. I not have anywhere include. Not same all disable. Society want abandon.
I can’t be part internet conversation. Information not understand not accessible me. Write complicate I need simple need picture. Have wait explain leave me out.
I communicate slow understand slow learn slow. Everybody fast I not part world.
I all life lock up not touch not know love.
nobody understand me.

post about cult trigger.
I cult all life.
never safe.
not funny.

autism, communication, Disability


I am autistic but I’m not part autistic community.
my voice drowned by other autistic say autism good we smart we understand even not speaking we always communicating.
but I not smart I don’t understand I cannot do amazing things.
I can’t work I can’t do anything without help I need care all time day and night.
I say not understand I be ignore. I left out for the louder voices. Smarter. Can work. Do great things.
I need long times understanding I long long time learn anything. I not be valuable to community society I just exist.
having intellectual disability I repeated put aside.
I tired trying I tired not friendship I tired be alone.
I tired be outside not belong anywhere.
where can I belong when nobody want?