today is birthday

it lonely

people celebrate thing I never had

many say autistic not care this things


some don’t

I care

it matter because never have

because something special to other people but I not know why

how can understand something never have if not explain


very few remember birthday

few that remember be nice not upset talk about too much

it just another day


other day was four years since have stroke

four year ago was in hospital

if not covid I be hospital now


everything hard

I alone

I not understood

I sad and tired


all want is see my love

be in arms again

sleep next to


nothing feel safe

autism, Social


I hate told smile
I don’t show feelings same neurotypical person
my happy look different to you
I happy stim not showing on face
don’t ask why I not smiling
it makes me upset
I don’t need be smiling to be happy
I happy hand fly moving
my body show happy not face
don’t tell me smile don’t ask me why not smile
I be happy my way

written with Unity 144 location