Disability, Uncategorized

7 years.

7 years.

7 years since I decided to end my addiction.

7 years since I took a drug that wasn’t medically prescribed.

7 years.

Addiction isn’t talked about in ways I am comfortable with.

Stigma is still there.

Blame on the person is still there.

Addiction is complex and has reasons behind it.

I had little support when I quit. Every rehab I tried rejected me for one reason or another.

Every psychologist said they couldn’t work with me.

I did this on my own.

If I didn’t have the support I have now, I’d probably have gone back to it.

If I didn’t get myself out of an abusive relationship, I’d probably still be addicted.

If I hadn’t got out of the cult, I likely wouldn’t be here now.

Pain and loneliness kept me addicted. I have days where it’s really hard to get through, but I cope better now.

I’m often still lonely. I still live in constant pain, physically, mentally, emotionally.

I still can’t find the help I need.

But I keep going. 7 years and I keep going.

We need to take the stigma out of addiction. We need to talk about it in ways that doesn’t place blame on the person, because we don’t get addicted in a vacuum.

I’m proud of who I’ve become and who I’m becoming.

I’m still learning who I am and what I want.

7 years is a long time, but the work on recovery continues for me every day.

7 years.

Uncategorized

Litten Story

Hello.

I done many serious post and video. I want talk some not serious sometimes so I say some story about thing in my life. Today I say about Litten little cat.

One day middle night hear big big noise. I get up I think cat fighting. Very loud.

Then I hear dogs making big noise. I go to see what this big big noise. I think cat going be hurt.

Dogs big dogs outside huskies, Butter always inside with me. I go out look what noise.

There a tiny kitten in yard, dogs trying get at it, kitten makes huge noise at dog having teeth and claws hissing and growling at dog.

Ok I don’t know how I get kitten safe so inside go wake partner tell kitten have get dogs out way. come help.

get kitten into cat carry and inside, check over she looking ok but have some blood. I don’t know where blood from. blood not coming from kitten. How? I ask partner.

Check dog, dog be blood scratch bite. ok. keep kitten safe make sure ok. morning thinking kitten belong house close, many people have cat, put outside.

She outside close door. No. She not going stay outside she come sit door meow let be inside.

Ok, bring in, give some food, water. later partner put outside it quiet think ok gone home. later open door she run inside. Ok she not going.

we get to vet all ok give the flea, vaccine take home. Litten very tough, bite my finger!

Morning go she stolen whole chicken in the kitchen! She steal lot thing all time. Destroy many thing!

We call her lot name like bandit, thief. She very good steal.

One day I hear a barking. I think what Butter barking at? Not butter bark! Litten barking at other cat at door!

Is funny cat, think dog even try get treat sit when training butter. Steal Butter bed. Always doing something tricking.

She do lot thing but also very cuddle. Also come lay on when meltdowns. Copy Butter to help.

She think own house. She chose this be her home.

Thank hearing my story. Thank you my care help to writing.

Disability, Uncategorized

Grief

friends are hard to keep
I do not sleep I do not sleep
my loneliness runs deep
you in my heart i do keep

many many i have lost
are you not sad im asked
but at what cost
I grieve and try to hold on

I do not show what I feel the same
the pain inside a burning flame
grieve is not something I can do

friends are hard to keep
I do not sleep I do not sleep
my loneliness runs deep
you in my heart i do keep

many many i have lost
are you not sad im asked
but at what cost
I grieve and try to hold on

I do not show what I feel the same
the pain inside a burning flame
grieve is not something I can do
while starving struggling I am too

Uncategorized

Question answer 1

CW: cult mention, child trafficking

Hello I answer question. This hard say.
question ask was “Are you familiar with Latin America or Peru?”
yes I is Hispanic. I from Uruguay.
I grow up in cult. When baby be steal take America then after to Australia.
Spanish my first language.
I never know who family is never safe find.
I just over one year away cult. Everything still hard scary.
understand what say Spanish when computer read out.
thank you question.

Written with Unity 144

Uncategorized

Thoughts

I bother some post people have recent.
when say smart in room because autistic exclude me.
autism not mean smart.
when say not talk not friend person not intelligent leave me alone.
when say everyone disable isolate not understand different intellectual disability.
I alone everywhere. I not have anywhere include. Not same all disable. Society want abandon.
I can’t be part internet conversation. Information not understand not accessible me. Write complicate I need simple need picture. Have wait explain leave me out.
I communicate slow understand slow learn slow. Everybody fast I not part world.
I all life lock up not touch not know love.
nobody understand me.

post about cult trigger.
I cult all life.
never safe.
not funny.