7 years since I decided to end my addiction.
7 years since I took a drug that wasn’t medically prescribed.
Addiction isn’t talked about in ways I am comfortable with.
Stigma is still there.
Blame on the person is still there.
Addiction is complex and has reasons behind it.
I had little support when I quit. Every rehab I tried rejected me for one reason or another.
Every psychologist said they couldn’t work with me.
I did this on my own.
If I didn’t have the support I have now, I’d probably have gone back to it.
If I didn’t get myself out of an abusive relationship, I’d probably still be addicted.
If I hadn’t got out of the cult, I likely wouldn’t be here now.
Pain and loneliness kept me addicted. I have days where it’s really hard to get through, but I cope better now.
I’m often still lonely. I still live in constant pain, physically, mentally, emotionally.
I still can’t find the help I need.
But I keep going. 7 years and I keep going.
We need to take the stigma out of addiction. We need to talk about it in ways that doesn’t place blame on the person, because we don’t get addicted in a vacuum.
I’m proud of who I’ve become and who I’m becoming.
I’m still learning who I am and what I want.
7 years is a long time, but the work on recovery continues for me every day.