Tag: Social

communication, Disability, Social

questions

JaysWorld

Content warning : talk of abuse

09/11/20 3:44PM

hello. I get question sometimes people ask. I be answer some when I can. I still learning words on communication device everyday learn new but take many repeat to know them.

sometimes I write these blog post and people think I talking about them. When I write something it because happen many time me and remember from many many time. I can be hurt once and nobody know because take long long time be say.

if you think I write about you what you doing so bad I write it? not have wrote about my partners on this because not like private be take.

so ask you why think I do about you? And if worry I say about you what you doing so bad to me?

some have ask name the cult I was in that taken me and name tribe was take from. I not going answer that it put me in dangerous if people stranger knowing. I have stay safe. Don’t do this asking me about that. It rude ask and same rude ask about what happen to person. Talk my trauma when I ready and I have picture word to say it.

I not have word many thing still. My language is little and slow and learn more and more when can.

autism, Disability

Autistics Speaking

JaysWorld

Content Warning – Talk of abuse

I be ask why I believe should have all autistic voice hear.

I can only tell about me.

I be autistic all life but I not know word autism until I twenty-five years old. I was not tell my disability all life. I taken to have diagnosis twenty-five for document get payment and legal guardian. I be tell then something bad my brain and that bad is call autism. That why I different to everybody. Be tell nothing can do now too old be help. Tell carer leave me alone lock in bedroom not help anymore.

I not have communication. I not have help. I think I bad what am.

all life be abuse. I not know I be abuse until I forty. I not have word what happen me. All know do meltdown. Bite self. Hit self. Throw thing. Anything try control scare world.

I live all life isolation alone. I grow be dog. I understand dog. I know dog. I not know I person. I not know how be around person.

listen autistic learn not bad what I am. Listen autistic help get communication and hear me my way. Listen autistic understand what abuse and why meltdown.

I am 41 still not feel safe. I could had better life. I could be tell child ok my different brain. I could know word early. I could meet other same like me.

autistic are speak. All speak with word. With voice. With AAC. With behaviour. Every is speak own way. Are you listening?

when listen to autistic abuse be stop. When listen to autistic learn why meltdown. When listen to autistic get communication with everyone. When listen to autistic bring big change.

listen to autistic why I alive. All life have worth. I not speak today if not listen autistic.

autistics are speaking. It time you listen.

communication, Disability

Not say smart

JaysWorld

sometimes people see my communication device and how well I use it and get excited about it. I don’t like that.

it great be positive about my way communicating but it make me uncomfortable when so big reaction.

I get nervous and then talk little. And sometimes they look at what I’m writing on my screen. Don’t do that. I will stop talking. If you not my safe person I won’t use device if been watched.

my communication device is my voice. It is a part of me. Just like you don’t touch wheelchair you don’t touch device. There private things on my device. It’s made and edited just for me and how I like and understand best. No one have communication device same as my words. Be make how they like their one best. That how talk faster.

when people look my screen make me freeze. I can’t communicate anymore and then feeling trapped and make big meltdown.

also I don’t like be say so smart because using device and sometimes I fast. I don’t say you so smart because you can use mouth words. Don’t tell me anything of smart or dumb. It not good say. You don’t know how hard work take learn or how long. This fast for me because try many many then find right one me use. If this your only voice you learn and make fast too.

people value not in how intellect have. It not good this anyway. Not matter everyone valuable just be person alive. When say you smart take away how long and hard many working just be same. I’m not smart I work hard learning and many many meltdown frustrate when can’t understand what mean. A lot help need for stay alive. I not able anything no care help.

better tell about what did and how much work do not say so smart. Don’t do that make chest hurt.

good night

Social

today

JaysWorld

today is birthday

it lonely

people celebrate thing I never had

many say autistic not care this things

.

some don’t

I care

it matter because never have

because something special to other people but I not know why

how can understand something never have if not explain

.

very few remember birthday

few that remember be nice not upset talk about too much

it just another day

.

other day was four years since have stroke

four year ago was in hospital

if not covid I be hospital now

.

everything hard

I alone

I not understood

I sad and tired

.

all want is see my love

be in arms again

sleep next to

.

nothing feel safe