today is birthday

it lonely

people celebrate thing I never had

many say autistic not care this things


some don’t

I care

it matter because never have

because something special to other people but I not know why

how can understand something never have if not explain


very few remember birthday

few that remember be nice not upset talk about too much

it just another day


other day was four years since have stroke

four year ago was in hospital

if not covid I be hospital now


everything hard

I alone

I not understood

I sad and tired


all want is see my love

be in arms again

sleep next to


nothing feel safe

communication, Disability

Communication Device

I have a new communication device. 
it is red. 
it helps me say what’s in my head. 

I lived so long. 
I felt dead. 
nobody knew what I said. 

I’m not trapped. 
inside my mind. 
I can yell or be kind. 

the world has opened. 
I am free. 
my pictures words for you to see. 

stories blogs texts.
what I feel.
the world can know I am real.


Different Not Less

I been have difficult time. I worry about how hard everything for people trying help me. I know not easy everything happening with me and need big help. It been very hard and scary and I am very scare be leave alone again. I don’t want to die. I know alone again I will die.
I’m not only one like this. This happening to me happening to many everywhere.
I beg you this. Open eyes. See truth. Notice what been tried to hide. Value the disabled. Value those like me. Help. Don’t leave us isolated and alone. We have worth we matter. Together we are strong. unite. Stand with me. For me. For them. For all of us. Build a better future.
we are worthy of living. Let us live. Let us show you the beauty in our lives. We are beautiful. All of us. Open your heart to it and see the wonders of our worlds.
different not less

Written with Unity 144

autism, communication, Disability

about communication

sometimes I see posts asking about AAC.

I don’t like how many want proving can use communication device before giving a device. It don’t make understanding to me.

No one has to prove they can use their voice before they use it.

I grow up stuck inside myself not able to communicate. When I twenty I given a computer to communicate with but it didn’t help.

I never communicate before I didn’t understand words I needed to learn and understand and only picture understood.

I tried many devices and now found best one for me. I not be able if says prove using before give.

give AAC fastest can and teach to use. Nobody learn talk in silence nobody learn AAC without help.

Use to teach and help understand what means. All life I speaking all life only caring what tell voice. I not going voice.

Voice not only way voice not more important. Other ways speaking if you listen.

don’t wait get AAC as early you can.

autism, Disability

autistics speak for me

a lot parents say autistic adult not speak for their child because their child not speak not use toilet have bad meltdown and hurt themselves
I don’t like say personal things but I tired hear this things
I am autistic I am nonverbal I can’t use toilet I hurt myself everyday I cannot live with no help I need person with me and watching me all the time if I alone I hurt myself badly
when you say autistic don’t speak for your child because they don’t do this things you are saying I can’t exist
you are saying I have no rights you are cutting away my communication I am here I am like your child
autistics speak for me you need to shut up and listen
you need to hear when you told what doing is bad for us
because of people like you I was twenty-five before anyone give me any communication but I always was speaking my own way I scream I hurt myself I bite and growl I was saying something but no one listen to my language
I was hurt and made to be a puppet I do worse hurting
I have marks all time biting myself hitting myself
I never not be able live alone never be able not have help but I am not bad I can be worthwhile
you say adult autistic not speak for your child you are making things like before when I be hurt because trying make look like you accept who we are and celebrate us we are worth more than you know
autistics speak for me

Written with the AAC software Unity 144