Disability

trust

Content Warning – Talk of abuse

I live in a world where I’m expected to trust everyone. I have to have support workers in my home and therapists and more. I don’t get to have a home like other people. privacy not something I get the privilege to having.

all this people is strangers for I and I expected to trust with nothing for I see can be trust.

this not ok to me. I huge abuse all life. I not trust many. I not going trust people not know long times. Sometimes care do bad things and I can’t like. I trust break once I never trust again. All time people show I going be use and take advantage of. I not understand many what people do.

care talk I like I baby. I hate it. I not baby.

need help do everything not matter. I adult talk I like adult. Not matter play toy. Not matter need formula drink. Not matter all help need. I still always adult. I still person own think and feel. When talk I like I baby you saying I not equal. You saying I less. You saying you have power and control over I and take I right to choice and control I life.

you take and take and make I upset then make I meltdown then you say meltdown hurt self you can’t choice when you why meltdown. This not fair to anyone.

I communication get bad. Sometimes can’t communicate. You not see other way communicate. Only listen using word. Word not everything. Word your way not I way. You not see body and stim and different way then say not communicate. I say you not communicate. You only want you way.

you want I be trust then you do work see communicate change how talk I. Stop make I do many work make you comfortable. You be uncomfortable and communicate way understand for I. I tired push all time push push and be treat baby like not respect. Start respect I and do better.

I should be ability communicate way best I not best for you.

good night.

communication, Disability, Social

questions

Content warning : talk of abuse

09/11/20 3:44PM

hello. I get question sometimes people ask. I be answer some when I can. I still learning words on communication device everyday learn new but take many repeat to know them.

sometimes I write these blog post and people think I talking about them. When I write something it because happen many time me and remember from many many time. I can be hurt once and nobody know because take long long time be say.

if you think I write about you what you doing so bad I write it? not have wrote about my partners on this because not like private be take.

so ask you why think I do about you? And if worry I say about you what you doing so bad to me?

some have ask name the cult I was in that taken me and name tribe was take from. I not going answer that it put me in dangerous if people stranger knowing. I have stay safe. Don’t do this asking me about that. It rude ask and same rude ask about what happen to person. Talk my trauma when I ready and I have picture word to say it.

I not have word many thing still. My language is little and slow and learn more and more when can.

autism, Disability

Autistics Speaking

Content Warning – Talk of abuse

I be ask why I believe should have all autistic voice hear.

I can only tell about me.

I be autistic all life but I not know word autism until I twenty-five years old. I was not tell my disability all life. I taken to have diagnosis twenty-five for document get payment and legal guardian. I be tell then something bad my brain and that bad is call autism. That why I different to everybody. Be tell nothing can do now too old be help. Tell carer leave me alone lock in bedroom not help anymore.

I not have communication. I not have help. I think I bad what am.

all life be abuse. I not know I be abuse until I forty. I not have word what happen me. All know do meltdown. Bite self. Hit self. Throw thing. Anything try control scare world.

I live all life isolation alone. I grow be dog. I understand dog. I know dog. I not know I person. I not know how be around person.

listen autistic learn not bad what I am. Listen autistic help get communication and hear me my way. Listen autistic understand what abuse and why meltdown.

I am 41 still not feel safe. I could had better life. I could be tell child ok my different brain. I could know word early. I could meet other same like me.

autistic are speak. All speak with word. With voice. With AAC. With behaviour. Every is speak own way. Are you listening?

when listen to autistic abuse be stop. When listen to autistic learn why meltdown. When listen to autistic get communication with everyone. When listen to autistic bring big change.

listen to autistic why I alive. All life have worth. I not speak today if not listen autistic.

autistics are speaking. It time you listen.

autism, communication, Disability

Forgotten

This not a happy write.
this is Butter. Butter my assistance dog in training.
Butter is why I alive right now.

I get forgotten.
people say what happen when I not here for my child. People say but you not like my child. People say what about the one wear diaper helmet not can take care themselves.
I this person.
I not meant be alone ever. I hit head bang on wall bite self hurt bad. I need helmet I use diaper I not talk voice words. I can’t ask food drink not be able tell hungry thirsty pain sick. I not able take care self.
what happen when nobody caring me?
I forgotten.
I left alone I hurt self I starve I dehydrate. If take hospital I left bed alone nobody give drink nobody feed. Meltdown in hospital be isolate. Nobody talk me.
I not can communicate away people know good. Not can say help not can say hurt not can say pain. Scream be leave alone.
send home no help. Send home not know anyone to care. Forgotten.
you want help like me? Listen. Understand all communicate not just word. include. Make community support all. Help understand help accommodate intellectual disability.
stop leaving. Stop ignore what happen. Stop forget

me.
I be left die. I be left no health care until die. Too late.
no carer mean no get up mean sore mean pain mean starve.
help before bad.
before message world say you not important. Before understand not matter all want dead.

Butter help be alive.

(Image of a golden dog looking around a door with a plush duck in his mouth)

a golden dog looking around a door with a plush duck in his mouth
Butter with Duck
Uncategorized

Question answer 1

CW: cult mention, child trafficking

Hello I answer question. This hard say.
question ask was “Are you familiar with Latin America or Peru?”
yes I is Hispanic. I from Uruguay.
I grow up in cult. When baby be steal take America then after to Australia.
Spanish my first language.
I never know who family is never safe find.
I just over one year away cult. Everything still hard scary.
understand what say Spanish when computer read out.
thank you question.

Written with Unity 144