Disability

trust

Content Warning – Talk of abuse

I live in a world where I’m expected to trust everyone. I have to have support workers in my home and therapists and more. I don’t get to have a home like other people. privacy not something I get the privilege to having.

all this people is strangers for I and I expected to trust with nothing for I see can be trust.

this not ok to me. I huge abuse all life. I not trust many. I not going trust people not know long times. Sometimes care do bad things and I can’t like. I trust break once I never trust again. All time people show I going be use and take advantage of. I not understand many what people do.

care talk I like I baby. I hate it. I not baby.

need help do everything not matter. I adult talk I like adult. Not matter play toy. Not matter need formula drink. Not matter all help need. I still always adult. I still person own think and feel. When talk I like I baby you saying I not equal. You saying I less. You saying you have power and control over I and take I right to choice and control I life.

you take and take and make I upset then make I meltdown then you say meltdown hurt self you can’t choice when you why meltdown. This not fair to anyone.

I communication get bad. Sometimes can’t communicate. You not see other way communicate. Only listen using word. Word not everything. Word your way not I way. You not see body and stim and different way then say not communicate. I say you not communicate. You only want you way.

you want I be trust then you do work see communicate change how talk I. Stop make I do many work make you comfortable. You be uncomfortable and communicate way understand for I. I tired push all time push push and be treat baby like not respect. Start respect I and do better.

I should be ability communicate way best I not best for you.

good night.

autism, communication, Disability

Don’t ask how I am

if ask me how I am you going get same answer. I bad. I going be bad long time. I am alone and scare. I no care long time. My love in hospital and not know when see again. I not able get out bed without hurt me. I not able feed me. I all day in bed. I scare not able get pet food. I not able see doctor. I not able call anyone. I not be okay long time. I not communicate people I don’t know. Get worse everyday. I need communication device not getting funded. I need support worker not getting sent. I need doctor. I need help not happening. I am bad. I am isolated. I can’t take care myself and no one understand. I scare going slowly die alone and never see my love again. no I can’t go hospital. No don’t call police. That make worse and very triggering.