autism, communication

Don’t tell me feeling

don’t tell me what I feel. I had someone tell me I am happy. I not be happy very long time. I not like be tell what I not. You not know what in my head. I not face expression like person think.

other day I get hurt bad. When people hurt be cry or something show face people know is hurting. I was hurt be laugh and laugh. I not do same people not know I bad can’t show face expression.

sometimes be ask how you feeling. I hate hate this question. I don’t know what feeling most time. When feeling something is big strong feel. I not know happy sad what is? I don’t understand. It hard I not even know what thirsty hungry feel like.

I know what things make body doing this different what people say feeling is. I feel flappy win archery. I feel rocking when not like someone.

I not like be ask feeling. I hate be tell what I feel. I is me only I know me and what feel.

autism, Disability, Social

we had a new support worker today and it was hard. don’t like new things and people never know what go wrong and something always go wrong. was very frustrated with the Vantage Lite it’s going wrong lots.
I heard the support worker say a word I didn’t like to hear and had only heard online for many years. I was bothered hearing something I had hear for abusing me most my life. I don’t understand why people say bad things to hurt us disabled.
it was long day and scary. Had to try explain I don’t know feeling hungry have no interoception. Can’t feel hungry thirsty go toilet not know pain or sick until very bad. I’m expected to know but it doesn’t fit in my head. Feelings are strange to me I didn’t know people had feelings until I adult. Now hard understand get asked you hungry you thirsty you need toilet and I don’t know. I never understand those.