Disability – Jay's World

Disability, Uncategorized

7 years.

May 15, 2023 JaysWorld

7 years.

7 years since I decided to end my addiction.

7 years since I took a drug that wasn’t medically prescribed.

7 years.

Addiction isn’t talked about in ways I am comfortable with.

Stigma is still there.

Blame on the person is still there.

Addiction is complex and has reasons behind it.

I had little support when I quit. Every rehab I tried rejected me for one reason or another.

Every psychologist said they couldn’t work with me.

I did this on my own.

If I didn’t have the support I have now, I’d probably have gone back to it.

If I didn’t get myself out of an abusive relationship, I’d probably still be addicted.

If I hadn’t got out of the cult, I likely wouldn’t be here now.

Pain and loneliness kept me addicted. I have days where it’s really hard to get through, but I cope better now.

I’m often still lonely. I still live in constant pain, physically, mentally, emotionally.

I still can’t find the help I need.

But I keep going. 7 years and I keep going.

We need to take the stigma out of addiction. We need to talk about it in ways that doesn’t place blame on the person, because we don’t get addicted in a vacuum.

I’m proud of who I’ve become and who I’m becoming.

I’m still learning who I am and what I want.

7 years is a long time, but the work on recovery continues for me every day.

7 years.

autism, Disability

April 15, 2023 JaysWorld

I Autistic

Autistic Me

Autism inside me

my blood

my bones

my soul

Autism isn’t a coat

I can’t take it off

I can’t be someone else

Autism is all of me

I rock

I flap

I stim

my ways

My life

My world

Autistic

All of me

Autistic

Proud

Happy

Autistic Me

Disability

Immature

January 11, 2023 JaysWorld

parent call adult ID kid immature
what is mature
we measure intelligence on maturity
maturity is false

i be call immature
when i can’t adapt
when i can’t understand
when i show symptom of my disability

when i lack language
when world is inaccessible
what are you really saying
immature?

that not the word you mean
yet you still use it
to treat like a child
to not give respect

immature is not
good descriptive
find better way
to say what mean

and treat me
like my age

Disability

December 3, 2022 JaysWorld

You told me I was too loud

so I shut that inside

You told me I moved too much

so I trapped my body inside

You told me I was too much

You told me I couldn’t

because my body wouldn’t be safe

and I stayed so closed inside me

I no longer existed

I cut pieces of myself off and

swallowed them whole

hiding them inside

my inner castle

only to come play when I was alone

and I lost myself

I no longer recognise the faces in the mirror

I no longer recognise who I became

a stranger to myself

He told me I could

he told me to try

and I did

with you gone

I slowly attach the pieces of me

stitched carefully and slowly

back onto my soul

scarred bruised

painfully

but they’re me

I recover

and slowly

I start to recognise myself

loud

moving

taking up space

and it’s ok

because that is me

I should take up all the space

because the world needs to see

I am here

I exist

I am worthwhile

Disability

Latex Allergy

September 22, 2022September 23, 2022 JaysWorld

If I educate one person today then it’s worth it.
I have a latex allergy. I am airborne anaphylactic to latex. Every time I go to a shop, go to bowling, go out it is anxiety inducing because I never know when or where I will see a balloon. I never know if this time my antihistamines and inhalers and everything else will work or this time I need my epipen just from this balloon. Latex allergy is progressive, this means every time I am exposed the allergy gets worse. There’s no way to make it better and exposure therapy is not an option. I can tell you there’s latex in a room as soon as I am in it without seeing it because I react. I have reacted at drs only to be told I can’t be reacting or there’s no latex only to find latex gloves, a single rubber band in a drawer etc. A single balloon makes me sick for days up to a week even using everything I can to not end up in hospital. The allergy doesn’t stop just by having an epipen or antihistamines etc. It’s hard and bowling is often a difficult thing, I love bowling but there’s so much latex and there’s always balloons. I have given feedback to companies but it falls on dead ears and I am only one person. There are latex free balloons but no one wants to buy them. This is only a small part of my daily life. Latex kills. Not only people but the environment, latex balloons don’t biodegrade the way people think. It should be banned, we have better options.